Believe in People

I ask a lot of the Heavens. I ask a lot from/for Life. I ask for LOVE, Growth/Lessons, Change, Acceptance of What IS & Peace - to name a few. But when I am in the throes of my darkest moments, I always ask for a sign. And I ALWAYS receive one- at least one.

It was an Autumn morning as I was walked to work in the drizzling rain. Feeling despair about my less-than-healthy relationship* at the time, I asked for a sign. Upon stepping on a curb of the street a block from my job, I saw this:

Immediately, I felt something heavy, even if just a wee bit, lift.

It was just what I needed.

Choosing LOVE.

YES!

In spite of the lack I was experiencing in the Love department*, I was reminded that I was in control of this one thing. This one very huge thing. Love.

Love IS Everything.

Love is the catalyst for the growth, change, acceptance and peace that I ask for. Love is the strength which holds me up when I fall. Love is the patience that I need to sustain my hard lessons. Love is the seed of possibility I plant for my future self.

And Love starts with me.

For a few years now, I have been lifted by specific public art around New Haven. It started with the Anne Frank mural on the side wall of a gay bar on Crown Street. Who is not inspired by the Strength, Hope and Love that Anne had? 

Fast forward to last year with the Love curb message. I did not know that also was done by the same artist. I knew he made at least one more, since I found this another down-trodden day when I was walking to meet up with my mother after work:

Fast forward again to last month. I was at work and my boss' wife was reading the New Haven independent (an online newspaper) and came upon an article about the art and artist who I am referring to and asked if I knew him. (Not YET.) 

He goes by BiP. Believe in People. He is from New York, but trains in to New Haven to share his messages with us {Blessed}New Haven folk. I was so excited to learn about his prolific art in town. I had no idea he created so much for us! I still take it personally, knowing that when an artist touches one single person, it changes them, and they did their job well.

Well done BiP!

Tonight, I was reading that article again and found a link to an earlier article:

http://www.newhavenindependent.org/index.php/archives/entry/believe_in_people_strikes_again/

which had a link to more curb-side messages, and a map that BiP made for us folks to use so we can walk around downtown and appreciate all 23 Encurbagements:

https://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&msid=201818218529438610871.0004b1e0a61ba2d6adc7c

I cannot wait to print it out and walk the town. Knowing that someone is willing to risk getting arrested for art with positive messages inspires me very deeply. I want to let him know how much his art has helped me on rotten, rough days, how I walk out of my way to read those 2 curbs I knew about (before tonight) and I want to hug him!

After reading these BiP articles and others linked & related to it, I Believe in People more than ever!

Openings

As I soften the tattered edges of my archaic belief systems, I am blessed with opportunities to open up channels of connecting and healing .

As I open up the channels of re-invented communication, I am blessed with opportunities to experience new and profound love.

As I open up the channels of new and profound love, I am open to regenerative life.

I say yes to life... 

a thousand times: 

YES!

It has been an eventful week. In the last week, my world has shifted in leaps and bounds. 

Leaps and Boundaries, actually.

Mine.

{Both.}

In the true essence of change, I observe and honor the differences between then and now. Harboring differences only keeps us separate from one another. 

Me-VS-You. 

This serves no-one.

It is in the realization of how we are alike that we flow in peaceful essence of acceptance of what is. 

What IS.

How often do we operate from a stringent core conviction of what our preconceived notions lead us to conduct our emotions and behaviors from? Are we reactionary and habitual or do we roll with the punches of the unexpected without presumptions?

It has been due to the utmost blessing that I have been presented with revisitations to past truths which are no longer so. The universe has tested me, pop-quiz-style, to weigh my growth and strengths against that which no longer suits me: outdated skepticism born of the sharpest cynical nature, bogged down with resentments and hurts.

Sometimes we love wallowing in human misery. We choose the shadowy world wrought with suffering and stoic self-righteousness.

Perhaps due to familiarity...

 Serving us- how?

Exactly.

But in admittance of imperfection, we rise and move beyond this phase- hopefully. And when we do, we experience an illumination of the most brilliant sort. Illuminating the truth of who we really are, and with that knowledge, we can forge forward from there. Next step. 

We as humans seek conflict and drama to divert attention from otherwise confusing and disturbing sensations within our mental and emotional worlds. Often it shows up as conflict in personal relationships and utter disappointments. Rather than admit the sublime hurts we experience, we act out. Usually, like less than our highest selves.

But what if you let down the wall of convicted egotistical stoicism?

Your world opens up.

The Universe says Yes to you if you say YES to the Universe's lessons and tests.

Would you rather trade one pain for another, if the new discomfort brought you bliss in the end? Or would you choose to cling to the past, in efforts to surround yourself with the familiar smoke and fog?

YOU decide.

L is for Lowe's

Lowe's. Yes that Lowe's.

This is a story about LOVE. And how I found LOVE at Lowe's.

No, I didn't run into some hot handy character in the lumberyard (although I wouldn't mind that at all,) and fall head-over-heals for them. Instead, I ran into someone much more pivotal.

It was a few months ago. I was helping my mother in her search for the perfect kitchen sink/faucet. Deep shopping conundrums here, people. As I was pointing out this or that model, I bumped into a dear friend from my past. Boom!

“Holy crap!” we exclaimed at each other, before she promptly introduced me to her husband.

Wait... Husband?!?

I had no clue she had a new b.f., nonetheless a new hubby. I was speechless, for like- the third time in my entire life. After sharing niceties via shock a'la sinks and faucets, we promised to call one another and, very soon, get together, which we did.

I left without a sink. Instead, I left with a sinking feeling 20 leagues deep.

Here was this friend of mine, shopping with her new mate, and I watched passively as they weighed options regarding a kitchen renovation, together. They were quietly blissful during which what may be overtly perceived as merely mundane acts, yet which mean so much more. Witnessing the two of them blew my corners apart.

My awareness about my at-the-time relationship became crystal clear at that precise moment.

I wanted to be renovating a kitchen with my lover, my partner, my other half. And yet, I knew, if I stayed with the person I was with, I would never have that. EVER. Was I willing to sacrifice that level of connection, shared nesting/planting roots goals and the idea of being an US- forever, for him? Not a chance.

Fast forward a week or so, and I met with L. for a lovely visit. We chatted it up and filled in the gaps since we last connected. After hearing her story, I was completely convinced about what I wanted and deserved. Sometimes I need a push in the forward direction, and seeing people happy together and obviously in love as they shared something trivial made me realize that if I want to have that too, I have to make the space for it to happen.

Please note, I am not superficially basing my entire relationship upon this event alone, yet it represented a larger issue at hand.

Time has passed and it is the Love I still wrestle with. To exchange the ratio of sending my Love outward with my Love going inward has been a challenging, conscious effort. After all, Loving yourself is a strangely worded, abstract concept for most folks. Most respond: “Of course I Love myself!” and yet contradict this statement with their behaviors and reactions.

I knew it was high time I retrograde all that Love I need, back to myself. Give me what I seek. Treat me with the compassion I require and deserve. Set new wheels in motion. And I also knew what that meant.

One must give one thing up to gain another.

Today would have been our anniversary, not that it would have been worthy of a celebration had we stayed together- but where did I find myself?

At Lowe's. 

Purchasing that sink/faucet I was initially shopping for months ago. Feeling pretty crappy about still longing for the Love I dream of. Secretly wishing everything worked out more satisfyingly. But we must all face the reality of our existences. I shook it off as best as I could and made plans to hang with friends later instead of wallowing. And while waiting at the check-out aisle, I started fantasizing about what could have been.Until they walked in. 

An adorable, in Love, newlywed couple buying supplies to build something together.

Instantly, I straightened right up and snapped right out of it.

Discover Love at Lowe's.

Love yourself, and your perfect lover will follow.   

H is for Health -VS- Happiness

 Sunny Sunflower, Oh So Happy! 

Many of us understand that health is a wholistic term. We are not just our bodies, but have a body with a mind, a spirit and emotions. The four elements are at play. Our Body reflects the Earth, the materialization of matter fusing with intent. Our Mind reflects the Air, the mental/intellectual component of ourselves. Our Spirit reflects the Fire which animates and activates us into forward motion, fueling our primal drive and connecting us to all living beings. Our Emotions reflects the Water which flows into the cracks between the other elements, fusing them together with feelings.

Being healthy can be so subjective, depending on who you ask. Ask a M.D. If you are healthy, and you may get a different answer than a psychotherapist would tell you, and yet an even more different reply than a shaman may give. But it is truly only your-Self who can dictate your states of your actual health.

 Playing Scrabble makes my brain happy & healthy! 

When I feel off, I ask myself one or more of these questions:

How is my body functioning, are all my organ systems operating properly? What is the state of my mind, am I thinking clearly and understanding the analytical processing in my brain? Where do I sense I am spiritually, am I grounded and centered, aware of my soul's purpose, sensing the vibrational connections outside myself as well as within? When I survey my emotive field, am I open in my heart, operating from a place of Love, or am I reacting to situations and people in my life out of Fear?
Then depending on my reactions, I go deeper for the reasons how, why or why not.

I love analysis, especially related to my health and healing.

Some folks think we need to be happy in order to actually be healthy. I disagree. Yes, happiness is a great feeling, but it cannot remain a constant 100% of the time. Life is so filled with ups and downs, full of joys and disappointments, yet none validate or dismiss the others. Such it is with happiness and health. Our bodies can be functioning in tip-top order, yet our heart may be broken. Our emotions could be clearly focused and positive, yet our bodies can be quite unwell. All elements of health depends on the individual and their intentions.

Operating patiently from an open heart, with gratitude, has made my life smoother and less pain-full, when I am in that space. I am not there each and every moment of my waking or even my sleeping hours.

I am not perfect, nor do I wish to be.

(Releasing the need to strive for {the all-impossible} perfection has freed me up to BE happier though.)

 Enjoying time with loved ones makes my heart very happy! 

There is no ideal model for ultimate health for us all.

Being Healthy is so specific and unique, like us, that regularly taking the time to survey your health inside and out, is a good idea for anyone.

You may even find that you are doing better than and are healthier than you thought.
Which may make you happy!

Be you healthy, happy or not,

the best healer of all is Love.

Love yourSelf.

Love others.

Love Life.

Be Love.

Love.

Heart's Gentle Compass

A loving, nomadic friend has a blog called Honeyriot Love and Peace* where he posts quotes and musings in the Buddhist vein. On occasion, I check in there to see what's on his mind or inspiring his awesomeness. He posted the following quote this week: 

 “ Whatever your difficulties—a devastated heart, financial loss, feeling assaulted by the conflicts around you, or a seemingly hopeless illness—you can always remember that you are free in every moment to set the compass of your heart to your highest intentions. In fact, the two things that you are always free to do—despite your circumstances—are to be present and to be willing to love." 

 ~ Jack Kornfield 

Perfect, that was just what I needed to read. 

Do I set my heart's compass to my highest intention? Why and when or why not?

Yes and No.

There are certain times or ways when I am open, willing and actively operating in and with Love. Those times, life literally opens up for me and the right people and opportunities flow to me like water down a hill. It is incredibly powerful. 

Yet, when fear-based issues challenge me and my faith is shaken, I easily fall into a deep depression and become immobilized. Stopping it is like asking an ant to stop a runaway train. Useless and silly, yet maybe not as impossible as we may think. 

When I am in negative mode, racing thoughts and intense physical reactions take over, as I willingly let them or even encourage them to by wallowing in the panic and feeding the monkey. I have been given a wealth of tools for survival and even excellence, yet struggle with my sense of value related to a perceived goal resulting from false lack of worthiness. 

Not so Zen, huh? 

It is true that our foundations and upbringing effect us, but inspiring stories about Amma* or even Oprah remind me that our pasts guide us yet do not define us. We possess the power to turn the compass arrow towards beautiful, loving, successful lives where we enrich others and therefor the world at large. 

My highest intention.

My friends have been my lifeline recently. For the most part, it has been a nurturing experience. One amazing woman friend keeps reminding me to be gentle with myself. I can be rough on myself [surprise, surprise, surprise... we have a perfectionist in the room!] and she knows just how damaging this can be. Aside from the havoc I can do in my own life, roughness causes me to be harsh in my viewing of others' lives. Owch x2! 

"V, be gentle with yourself " 

she says to me every time we talk. 

"Gosh, I could use that suggestion as a sign wherever I go." 

She suggested I actually make a sign to hang up in my room. 

So I did just that- right now:

My little origami paper reminder.

My Heart's Compass is pointing inward to a new space, a gentle landscape including emotions. There it is okay to feel feelings and know I am safe and loved, no matter what. Life indeed can be robust with harsh realities. 

This is the best time to Be Gentle.

* LINKS.