Playing Possum

I type this from the steps of the condo where I lay my head. (The condo- not the cement stairs.)

 Smoking and drinking on a Tuesday night.

A car nearby is trying to turn over it's engine- to no avail.

I get it, trust me.

I'm feeling stalled because I deny myself feeling worse.

Why do we do this? By we, I mean me.

Why do I do this?

My head is spinning and I cannot remember the last healthy night of sleep I had in ages. I am overwhelmed by all my life's changes which have erupted like lava from the heart of the recent slumber of Pele. Some of the changes are positive and some are pained. Perhaps I fear and reject the changes I asked for.

Oh great, another lesson is coming on.

Eek!

Some folks juggle ups and downs with ease. Not I. Not now, at least. Either way, I end up feeling clobbered by the pins. They do not make Excedrin for that type of headache. Regardless of the new and wonderful experiences change brings or the struggling it can also bring, stress is an after-effect. Or a during-effect. In the throes of expansion and contraction, it is easy to feel immobilized, even if momentarily.

Sure, I say my mantras and prayers and stuff, but I am not sure how much it has helped lately. I still judge myself harshly when I am not perfect. I am never perfect. Nobody is perfect, but some accept this fact.

My reality check just bounced.

On the flip side, I make the perfect Whiskey Sour- extra sour.

Recipe time:

Into your favorite mug- juice one and a half fat, fresh limes.

Add a squirt of agave nectar to taste- and stir.

Toss in ice and lots of whiskey- I prefer bourbon for this drink.

Sip and blob on.

Where was I ?

On the steps of a building situated on a busy street, I am reminded of * the passing of time, the acceptance of failures and the joy of be-ing. (*As cars pass by and lights change. The stalled car has totally died & The crickets' symphony blends with the song of the peepers.)

No matter what, I am like a cat. I always land on my feet. Sure, I may be a bit tattered and worse for wear, but that's the stuff strength is derived from, no? I put so much focus on the dualities of life that I must force myself to stop and look at the bigger picture: Will this pain last or hurt in 5 years' time? I doubt it. 

Am I less of a person for having doubts? Nope.

Charge on!

Now, I need to find a way to get a grip on my worrying and obsessive thinking. When the physical sensations of this addiction takes hold, I am unable to meditate or focus clearly. My sleep, work and personal communication suffers- deeply. It is easy to crawl into some dark hole and wait for this stage to pass. I do a lot of talking myself off a proverbial edge. Such a drama queen, I know, but f*ck it, I cannot berate myself further for being human.

Thank Godzilla that as an artist, I can channel this craziness into something tangible and beautiful, or I'd be completely screwed. Maybe it's all part of the bigger plan. 

IF there really is one.

Oh crap, my cocktail is getting low. Dang! At least I still have smokes. And crickets serenading me.

I was doing some synastry astrology last night for a friend of mine and decided to look up some alternative interpretations of my chart while I was at it. Half of it was about being a rule-breaker, a teacher and a non-conformist. The other half was about my psychic senses and lean toward metaphysics and the occult. Spot on. But I knew that. Why act surprised?

So of course, I will step to the beat of another accordion. I will delve into the macabre. I will feel deeply when others do not. Time to accept it. Time to accept me more fully. Time to be patient and trust the bigger plan!!!

A sweet, pale, little possum just walked past me, inches from my feet, not looking up or paying any heed to me.

A sign!

“Opossum: In Dreamtime, opossum is the master performer, for he is a true chameleon at heart. His favorite game is ‘hide and seek’ for opossum hides from his true self and then seeks that same truth when he suspects that no one is looking. Opossum teaches us that wisdom is the journey within our own hearts. The key is to see through the smoke of illusion and to pierce the darkness of the night to discover that we are inseparable from our Creator.”

Link to the above quote.

Another cool site about Possum Totem Energy

Okay, I'm off the edge now... And off to bed, where I hope to sleep better than last time I tried!

A is for Astrology

In the sphere of the heavens we are all stars!

What were the ancient peoples thinking when they looked up to the night sky? 

With no light pollution to obstruct their view of such a perfect vista,
they must have been in awe.

  I am in awe. 

I know you have seen them lately- 

all lined up in a row in the sky:

(Photo from an awesome science journal.)

Jupiter is the big guy. Venus is the tinier. Chilling out with sister Moon!

The night of the 15th of March, I received no less than 6 calls/texts telling me to go outside and look up. 

But I already was outside, looking up!

In astro terms, we call this planetary aspect a conjunction- when the planets line up close to one another, 0°-8° degrees apart.
Two weeks ago, they were aligned in exact degree, today they are about 14° apart,
yet still visible as a duo.

What conjunction means in is that the planets are strongly influencing one another. After all, the planets are merely magnets in the galaxy, attracting and repelling one another.
Conjunction is a power position! These two give one another an extra boost of energy. 

Jupiter wants us to expand, explore and improve our lives and the greater good using confident idealism and generosity.

Venus wants us to attract, appreciate and value the physical attributes of this world using beauty and Love.

And the two are in the sign of Taurus, the grounded, productive bull of patience, resources and practicality using manifestation with ease and grace.

Perhaps you were drawn to reading about Buddhist philosophy or feng shui lately, and are planing to set up an altar or rock garden in your yard. 

That would be the kind of influence these gorgeous glowing orbs could have on us.

So regardless of whether you subscribe to Astrology like I do- 
or not, 

finding beauty and meaning is always wonderful! 

I ask you to join me tonight in looking up at the heavens in appreciation of the divine map of stars and glowing planets that connect us through time, geography, and culture-

reminding us all how close to one another we truly are!

Vernal Equinox and the Darkening of the Moon

Happy Passages Evolving Revolutionaries! 

Spring is upon us just as the Sun moved into Aries in perfect conjunction with the darkening of the Moon.

With lunar, solar and seasonal phases evolving simultaneously we cannot help feeling a surge of great power. Power to transform by turning within and experiencing the buzzing vibrancy of growth resulting from the seeds of change which we planted for and inside of ourselves many moons ago. 

What desires did you wish to fulfill last Autumn? Did you want to change careers? Did you plan a belief-altering vacation? Perhaps you conceived or birthed a baby? Did you wish for a new push in a more self-affirming direction? How do those wishes feel to you now? I bet you are seeing the in fruition, or at least budding, no?

Spring is in the air, and it is of no coincidence that this time of year sparks a little pep in many a'foot. Seeing the colorful flowers and plants as they start their sprouting and blooming cycle while hearing the animals jabber away chipperly is hard not to smile at. Even in a city, life is making good on it's promises of renewal. No wonder I feel so hopeful... I am also a sucker for seeing chubby robin red-breasts hopping gingerly across the street, which I have witnessed oodles of. 

As today brought the Sun out of watery Pisces, [i.e.: dreamy, intuitive, social, compassionate, "I Sense" - ruled by Neptune] and into firey Aries [i.e.: action, initiation, drive, force, "I AM"- ruled by Mars] did you find yourself feeling a little boost of confidence, willingness to let go, or even in a more playful, carefree mood? I did, in spite of the seemingly negative occurrences beyond my control which reared their groggy heads today. I literally feel lighter, as if a link in my chain broke, the chain which holds me to limitations based in the past. I know I can step beyond that chain.

Hmmm... nice!

Don't get me wrong, I adore Sun in Pisces time of the year, as it gifts me a space to reconnect with any mystical elements I wish to strengthen within myself. Piscean energy is soulful and very deep, like unchartered waters, many leagues deep down under the surface. Going within, embracing our dark periphery or shadow side is necessary for endurance and growth. Just ask a bear. Epic tales of Father Neptune with his trident have been told about the unknown seas and many more will been written based on theories about under-water civilizations. 

I love that with Pisces, what you see is not always what you get. 

Then straight forward, head-first blasting into Aries!!! 

Q: Do the flowers ask permission to bloom? Neither does Aries. 

Aries asks nothing, it just IS. 

Sunny, daring, bold Aries does not hold back. Aries is the un-numbered first in the deck- tarot card- often called the vagabond, more known as: the Fool. Forever leaping, rarely looking. We could all use that type of zest sometimes... I know I can! 

Aries encourages us to be courageous and even a bit impulsive. 

How does this tie into the Moon?

The Moon reflects the Sun. If the Sun is the beacon of our core selves, the Moon is the receptive receiver. If the Sun is the assertion of character and intent, the Moon is where the emotive rhythm generates. 

To those who think they are not effected by the basic Sun or Moon astrological concepts, 

I say: 

Think what you will. 

But the effects of these huge magnetic forces cannot be overpowered by our mere mortal minds. 

When the moon is in Pisces as it is now, many dream prophetically. Perhaps they are even sleepier than usual, or more restless and cannot sleep. 

It can be an intense night with a Pisces Moon hovering in the sky. 

Tomorrow, she will be completely Dark, in Aries. 

[Moon and Sun are in the same sign when she is dark, and in opposing signs when she is full.] 

New Moon, Full Moon, ra ra ra! 

What happens when your cup is empty? You fill it up. But like any vessel, over-fill it, and it's contents spill out. Such is with the phases of the Moon. During Dark (or New) Moon phase, it is a good time to fill'er up- plan or initiate a new project, diet, job, etc. Perfect for Aries! 

During Full Moon phase, it is a good time to release the overflow, the un-needed un-wanted or out-dated habits and beliefs (or clean the closet and donate those dust-collectors!) 

So I invite you to join me in welcoming the Spring, as do the enterprising Aries' Sun and Moon encouraging you to start anew! 

BE exactly as you dreamed to see yourself.

  

For you are the reflection you project!!!

The above is the Astrological chart for this exact moment, at the exact longitude and latitude where I am typing this from. 

Looks like a boat. Come and sail away with me on the bubbling blue seas!

Happy Equinox ALL!!!

In the time since I began typing this, the Moon has moved an entire degree. 

Traveling at 13.2° a day, she's a quick mover!  

  

INTENT

I was just now thinking about new ways to replace some of my unneeded and outdated thoughts, habits and actions with newer, more healthy ones. After pondering this lightly, I decided to check out some fun spiritually-minded web pages I enjoy frequenting. I went to Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology page. He has valuable Astrological Life perspectives and paints inspiring portraits for each Sun Sign to ponder. Check it out HERE!


This is what I read : 

Thirty-two carrier pigeons were awarded medals by the United Kingdom for their meritorious service in the World Wars. Of course, they probably would have preferred sunflower seeds and peanuts as their prize. Let that lesson guide you as you bestow blessings on the people and animals that have done so much for you, Virgo. Give them goodies they would actually love to receive, not meaningless gold stars or abstract accolades. It's time to honor and reward your supporters with practical actions that suit them well. Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Would you like help in solving the riddles that confuse you? * SACRED ADVERTISEMENT Alice finds her way to Wonderland by falling down a rabbit hole. Dorothy rides to Oz on a tornado. In C. S. Lewis'sThe Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Lucy stumbles into the magical land of Narnia via a portal in the back of a large clothes cabinet. In the sequels to all these adventures, however, the heroines must find different ways to access their exotic dreamlands. Alice slips through a mirror next time. Dorothy uses a Magic Belt. Lucy leaps into a painting of a schooner that becomes real. Take heed of these precedents. The next time a threshold opens into an alternative reality you've enjoyed in the past, it may not resemble the doorways you've used before. * The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Alice in Wonderland is one of my all-time favorite stories. It is the book which lent to my philosophical inclinations as a child which only grew as I did. 


I knew that things were definitely not always as they appeared and enjoyed daydreaming about other ways of being, living, relating and on and on. I created a protective imaginary world with which to view my stranger-than-fiction life from. I went there to be safe, to not be judged, to play freely and explore other sides of what was harsh and negative to deal with. 


What Alice gave me was a home. This home had walls I could walk through, mythical creatures I cavorted with and was a real home. I was the royalty there. I called the shots, unlike little Alice in the book. I was not a victim of absurdities, but a mere participant in creating them, acting an observer or invisible to everyone else if something felt off.


I had power by just existing.


So after reading the above forecast, I found the questions Brezsny posed resonated with me more than the actual horoscope. 


I am evolving personally. 


In the process of said evolution, it can be challenging or downright impossible {or as in Alice, downright Impassible, because nothing is impossible in Wonderland} to know the tastes of the fruits of the evolutionary process before the fruit ripens.

Patience is key. 


Trusting in the process of life is a huge undertaking, yet so simple.


I find it much easier to be both patient and trusting when I take a step off the pedestal I put myself on and then take one step backward. 


Perhaps it is a good time to read Alice again, or Sartre. 
I know that every new experience is an adventure, great or minute. 
All are valid.

INTENT like the photo above reads- is the Divine message!