I is for Inspiration

 I am Inspired. 

Most of the time I am awake, I am dreaming up ideas I plan to materialize creatively. I covertly wish there were more hours in the day, days in the week, or another top-secret me to cary these plans out. But since there are not, I will settle for lots and lots of lists of projects I am always working towards or working on.

Since I am in flux a'la living quarters, I rely primarily on the pottery studio to fulfill my creative needs. I am truly blessed to have access to a community studio and also work there teaching visual/clay arts. I know that someday, very soon, I will also land my newest awesome home where I can again revisit at length- my old friends: stinky, oily paints, richly sensuous fabrics, pebbly primitive canvases and much much more! Even art supplies inspire me!

Part of what inspires me so is the passion and integrity of other creative people, be they 7 or 67, an artist is born, not made. I believe everyone has creativity, but not all creative people are artists. Such is life. I accept that I will never be the next prodigious pianist. I am fine with that.

 I honor myself where I am creatively, 

as I honor my studio-mates and students where they are creatively at as well. 

Working and living in such limited spaces has caused me to push out of my comfort zone as well as free up my desire to tightly grasp my vision. This resulted in a more flowing, less judgmental, easy creative process. I know that these few years have not been in vain. I will, when the time is right, return to having a home studio where I will create so much more than ever before, so much looser and with a different focus. I am excited for that to happen. In due time. The perfect situation will present itself.

Back to inspiration:

What has inspired me in my students, both young and older alike is their trust in the process. Most are completely reliant upon the lesson or plans or directions as to how-to... but once they understand the steps, I give them space to explore and make decisions as well as mistakes. I step in when the time dictated I need to do so. I notice that some people really do rely on my advice or help. At first, this came across a bit needy and off-putting regarding some folks, but after I stepped out of the dreaded ego zone, it was easier to be present, compassionate and lovingly help. 

After all, it IS my job.

{ How do I come across needy and off-putting? }

I watch as the kids are completely enraptured with all steps of making pottery, which is- so fun and awesome to do. They behold themselves and their pots with total awe, regardless of shape or size. Some use the same 2 glazes over and over, experimenting with application. Others want to try each one once. It is the tenaciousness of their vision that inspires me, the same tenaciousness that brings them frustration and joy. It brings me frustration and joy, yet the joy far outweighs the frustration by far!

I can always make more. I love the impermanence factor with pottery. At any stage in it's production, things can go very very awry, and they do. Practicing the act of not expecting, one does not feel let down... well, not really.

Dust to dust, literally.

I have always had a project or challenge objective in the studio, but more recently, I was inspired by this installation of Julie Green's work titled Last Supper {Check it out HERE!} which features a series of hand-painted blue-on-white plates depicting specific meals requested by death row inmates. The story as well as her work touched me deeply.

 You can read about the inmates/requests on her website... 

My life has, as of the last few years, been riddled with death, loss, transformation and grieving, so Green's work speaks to me on a guttural level. Retrospectively, my work has been reflective of these shifts, these chasms created by the dynamic change. One cannot be unmoved.

I am moved, deeply moved.

  Whoaaaa. 

I am inspired to reflect my changes. 

To embrace the losses, to work through these cycles and create beautiful, ugly, elaborate and mundane works that mirror my experiences, hopes, dreams and fears.

Inspiration [in/of art] IS inspiration [to breathe in.]

H is for Health -VS- Happiness

 Sunny Sunflower, Oh So Happy! 

Many of us understand that health is a wholistic term. We are not just our bodies, but have a body with a mind, a spirit and emotions. The four elements are at play. Our Body reflects the Earth, the materialization of matter fusing with intent. Our Mind reflects the Air, the mental/intellectual component of ourselves. Our Spirit reflects the Fire which animates and activates us into forward motion, fueling our primal drive and connecting us to all living beings. Our Emotions reflects the Water which flows into the cracks between the other elements, fusing them together with feelings.

Being healthy can be so subjective, depending on who you ask. Ask a M.D. If you are healthy, and you may get a different answer than a psychotherapist would tell you, and yet an even more different reply than a shaman may give. But it is truly only your-Self who can dictate your states of your actual health.

 Playing Scrabble makes my brain happy & healthy! 

When I feel off, I ask myself one or more of these questions:

How is my body functioning, are all my organ systems operating properly? What is the state of my mind, am I thinking clearly and understanding the analytical processing in my brain? Where do I sense I am spiritually, am I grounded and centered, aware of my soul's purpose, sensing the vibrational connections outside myself as well as within? When I survey my emotive field, am I open in my heart, operating from a place of Love, or am I reacting to situations and people in my life out of Fear?
Then depending on my reactions, I go deeper for the reasons how, why or why not.

I love analysis, especially related to my health and healing.

Some folks think we need to be happy in order to actually be healthy. I disagree. Yes, happiness is a great feeling, but it cannot remain a constant 100% of the time. Life is so filled with ups and downs, full of joys and disappointments, yet none validate or dismiss the others. Such it is with happiness and health. Our bodies can be functioning in tip-top order, yet our heart may be broken. Our emotions could be clearly focused and positive, yet our bodies can be quite unwell. All elements of health depends on the individual and their intentions.

Operating patiently from an open heart, with gratitude, has made my life smoother and less pain-full, when I am in that space. I am not there each and every moment of my waking or even my sleeping hours.

I am not perfect, nor do I wish to be.

(Releasing the need to strive for {the all-impossible} perfection has freed me up to BE happier though.)

 Enjoying time with loved ones makes my heart very happy! 

There is no ideal model for ultimate health for us all.

Being Healthy is so specific and unique, like us, that regularly taking the time to survey your health inside and out, is a good idea for anyone.

You may even find that you are doing better than and are healthier than you thought.
Which may make you happy!

Be you healthy, happy or not,

the best healer of all is Love.

Love yourSelf.

Love others.

Love Life.

Be Love.

Love.

G is for Godzilla

It was a perfectly gorgeous sunny summer day and I was lounging by the pool at my friend's house as I did every Tuesday. I would paint my nails, we would read tarot for one another and spend the day relaxing and laughing as we sunned ourselves and chewed the fat. Like good friends do, we shared our deepest thoughts and feelings openly and frankly.

I do not remember what it was that we were talking about, but I do remember lowering my voice as I shared this deeply serious bit of information about my particular circumstance at the time. I remember having tears in my eyes as I sipped my Mojito and rolled my Yahtzee turn. I was pretty broken up about something. I tend to hold onto painful stuff and stew in it. (Working on that currently!)

And then he said it:

“Let go and let god...”

“...Zilla?”

I replied.

To which we exploded in laughter over for quite a stretch of time.

B and I are like brother and sister. We share a sincere nature appreciation and both have green thumbs, we parallel in our pagan sentiments, have intense passion for cooking and are mega-crafty when we get together.

B is my brother from another mother, and I am his sister from a different mister.

So when he told me to let go and let god, it was tongue-in-cheek to the nth degree. Comic irony at it's best. I love him for his humor.

 Godzilla loves to dance. 

When the giggles settled down, after we had told one another to let go and let Godzilla like a hundred times, without spitting out our bevies through our nostrils, I got to thinking about how much I love my new statement.

Apparently, I was holding onto something I could not control. Whatever the greased pig in my life was at the time, I needed to let go of it- badly! I decided that I would adopt Godzilla to represent my higher power, my Universal all-knower, my Zeus, my Allah, my Buddha, my flying spaghetti monster, etc.

Godzilla would be my go-to guy!

After all, Godzilla is pretty omnipotent in his movies, and he reacts to the way people mess with the Earth due to human ignorance with rage and destruction. He can crush cities or grant them mercy. He can fight other titan-like creatures without fear whatsoever. I liked Godzilla as an icon of dharma more and more as I thought about it.

After I left B's house, I went to the closest toy store and purchased a plastic Godzilla figure. I drove us home and set him on my nightstand. I told him my problems and concerns as I would do to a person I trusted, whose opinion I respect, as if he could help. Then I sewed him a messenger bag. I wrote out a heart-felt letter [for him to relay to the heavens on my behalf] and folded it up very tiny so it would fit in his bag. Then I went to bed and slept like a log.

I keep Godzilla on a high shelf in my bedroom, so I may see him from any perspective. His toothy grin makes me smile. I love how a silly film character can morph into something that represents something completely different and more evolved than intended.

Go Go Godzilla!

F is for Faith

Faith. 

That is a loaded word. It is usually associated with religious jargon, but does not have to be. Many do not understand it at it's core or utilize it's value. Faith can easily be misunderstood and be taken for hope- a bird of a different color.

Faith is a complete trust and is based in the knowledge that that something will be a certain way, whereas hope is based in wishes and human desire. Faith can precede wisdom. Hope cannot.

Perhaps 4 or 5 years ago, I was feeling quite destitute- heart and soul. After a long battle with some heavy depression, I had no idea how to process through my disturbing thoughts or where to put my unnerving emotions. I was completely exhausted, run-down so much I was literally thread-bare. Even the basic day to day goings on were difficult for me.

I remember sitting in my living room with a friend who understood first-hand what I had been going through, telling her my woes. I was throwing myself a first-rate pity party and whining about something or another being to hard to deal with. She did not let me go on for too long before she put the kibosh on my complaining. She told me that I had to stop that destructive cycle and have a little faith that things would be different- and soon...

In an instant I had a slight case of emotional whiplash!

Have faith?!? Who- ME?!?

I was appalled, unnerved and slightly offended at her suggesting MY having faith. I made mention of some drivel about religion and blah blah blah and before I could go on one of my rants, she set me straight. Told me to drop the self-righteous airs about the church and it's zealots, and really think about it-

Having FAITH.

You can have faith and believe in god, a higher power, the great spirit or something wiser and more enlightened than us humans- or not. But it is a deeper believing than that that gives power to faith. I needed to have faith that my circumstances would change for the better, have faith that I deserved for them to get better and hold onto faith that even though I had no clue how this was going to happen, I had to believe it would.

After pointing out precise ways I actually did have faith in my life, my dear friend opened my eyes to my realizing that I do actually have faith. It was a truly humbling experience. I wanted to be mad. Mad at myself for being depressed, mad at the concept of a god who failed me, mad at the cold, harsh world who did not accept or understand me- and in one afternoon, my house of cards fell.

Faith took those false weights and removed them from my shoulders. Poof. Gone. It was now up to me to take my troubles and do something else with them. I wrote them out in a new light. I took more meditative walks, hours spent deeply in prayer. I constantly told myself that I didn't have to know the future but I could believe in it being brighter than my past. And it really helped.

Now I am not a religious person at all. AT ALL. But I am very spiritual. I adhere to my own set of concepts and ideas (beliefs is too strong a word) that I live by. Although I admire the architecture of churches and other “holy” buildings of worship, you will not catch me in one for churchy services. Weddings and funerals is pretty much where it starts and stops. And the occasional orchestra/concert.

I have faith, in many ways. I never would have thought I would say that- but it's true.

 We are never backed up into a corner. 

There is always a way out, even when we cannot see it. 

Photos taken by me at the Boston Arboretum. 

E is for Emotions

I wasn't going to write this blog with this subject's focus. I was going to tell you about Epictetus instead. 

But as I sat typing while listening to electronic ocean waves crashing, I decided to stick with my original plan. Please look Epictetus' work up though. It's good stuff!

Yesterday I was at BB&B perusing the shampoo and bubble bath aisles, opening bottles and sniffing happily as I went. After about the 5^th sampling, one of them smelled like him. The {gasp!} dreaded him. 

Mr. X.

In the span of a millisecond, I was verging on tears. 

There I was, not half an hour prior, thinking about how I am doing so well with this huge life change- without him. One smell, quasi-reminiscent of his natural smell- and I almost let myself slip into utter despair, stewing in those intensely charged thoughts.

But I didn't.

I knew in that teensy tiny fraction of time- if I let one entire minute go by emoting over that failed relationship, lingering on my feelings for him, I would undo some healthy healing progress.

I said STOP!

(To my thoughts, that is...)

What did I do then?

I opened up, bottle after bottle of yummy, cheery, high-noted fragrances, and brought my Self back to center. 

I repeated my mantra, whatever it was at that moment.

Mammalian's sense of smell is the deepest of all senses. It is the most developed (especially if you are a bear or a bloodhound!) and lasts far longer than sight or hearing. Scent therapy is even used with [human] geriatric patients in memory health.

So it is of no wonder that I almost descended into the abyss from a sniff or two.

 Duh! 

It is in the mind that the emotions develop into something positive or negative. 

Sure, a quick burst of volatile organic compounds meshed with a receptor neuron or two in my nasal cavity and my limbic system went on red alert! 

I “get” the science, but my reaction was so much more than what can be reduced to a laboratory and a white coat.

Other than from triggers like scent, sound and visuals, it is from deep within us that emotions begin. Both conscious and unconscious thoughts tumbling around in our heads become the basis of a complex emotional world. Like the enzymes which combine to form proteins, these thoughts are linked to bigger things than when they are solo. Thoughts can snowball into unmanageable messes which become emotional minefields. 

And unless you are a bliss addict, these may lean toward the neutral to icky emotions.

Each emotion serves a purpose. They inform us of our state of Be-ing. Both pleasant and unpleasant emotions help us grow as individuals and show us where we need to adapt and change. 

 You too can be the fearless brain-tamer! 

It is through intentionally monitoring my mind that I am getting a grip on my spectrum of emotions. 

I do not seek to control my having emotions, yet I seek to control my reactions to them. 

 Want to feel more peaceful? 

 Mind your mind,

all the time! 

D is for Divination

divination |ˌdivəˈnā sh ən|

noun

the practice of seeking knowledge of the future or the unknown by supernatural means.

DERIVATIVES

divinatory |diˈvinəˌtôrē| adjective

ORIGIN late Middle English : from Latin divinatio(n-), from divinare ‘predict’ (see ^{divine 2} ).

I am no stranger to divination. One could say it is in my ancient, earthy blood. I employ divination regularly, in a myriad of ways and for different reasons. 

From dowsing rods to pendulums, tarot cards to tea leaves - and beyond, I have used divination since I can remember.

When I look at “Divination” the word DIVINE stands out. Regardless of whether the online dictionary sites “Divine” as a root word or not, I know it is. To practice the art of divination, one must be in touch with the divine. At least that is how I approach it. As a vessel for the spiritual energy which animates us all, I feel drawn to tools of expressing that holy language. Divination is a means of sharing information.

Dowsing rods can be used to find water or gold. Both are equally precious.

Palmistry can be used to analyze longevity and health or love and marriage.

Tarot can tell the querent their past, present &/or future.

Crystal ball reading, candle/sun/moon/star/planet gazing, throwing dice or bones, scrying in a mirror or a water pool-

My Heart line indicates my having a myriad of deep loves, my head line breaks, indicating a split in education and intellectual endeavors- and my life line runs off the side of my palm. 

Perhaps I will live beyond my human years!?!?

No matter what the tool of intention/expectation related to the outcome, divination has been a solid basis of my expressed spirituality. I love using divination in my own life and the lives of others. It is as if I have been chosen to represent the voice of something bigger than myself*.

I feel like a school class president or travel agent to the heavens!

Lucky me!!!

Now I have met many folks who are either afraid of divination (because of religious/dogmatic beliefs and teachings- or otherwise,) insisting that it is a dark art or of “the devil.” I have met other people who snidely intellectually eschew divination as a silly parlor trick. 

That's fine. I do my thing, they do their thing. 

No harm, no foul. 

What do “they” say???

Live and let live.

Okay then.

Once I hit puberty, I relied on divination for guidance and grounding- regardless of any external ideas or influences. At the start of high school, I received a deck of Rider-Waite tarot cards and off I went! (I had used other tools of divination prior to that time period.) The deck was given to me by a friend who found them “creepy” and wanted them out of his possession. I was all too glad to give them a new home. I looked through the cards and read for him on the spot. Using intuition and past-life rememberings, I was able to click with the cards and we became instant friends! To this day, I can use that specific deck to read for anyone. Hence, tarot is my favorite tool of divination.

I pulled "The Vagabond" card for us tonight- 

from the Ship of Fools tarot by Brian Williams.

The Vagabond is also known as "The FOOL" card in traditional tarot, as Aries, as new projects/endeavors/ideas/experiences and more! Do not hesitate too long, but do not leap before you look!!! Notice how the figure is gazing behind, yet his dog yaps and nips at his clothing in warning to let him know he may just fall off a cliff! 

BE Fearless Yet MINDFUL!!!

We can all be or become instruments or voices of the divine. Perhaps you “read” the wind or animal songs. Maybe you too- are of gypsy descent and read coffee grinds, like your gran did... Have a set of familial “superstitions” that you don't think about, yet you observe them often without contemplation... OR

you find yourself drawn to these soulful arts and want to explore them more.

Follow that intuitive sense and seek the crevasses and untraveled paths- where it takes you.

I ensure you it will be worth the investigation.

Every time.

You cannot lose to learn more about YOU,

to learn more about LIFE,

to learn more about {your} SOUL.

WIN

~win~

Win!

~ I do readings for people, both planned and spontaneous! Using tools or purely intuitive/psychic, etc- I tap into whatever messages are for the person I am working with. 

Soo cool as a gift to me as well as the receiver!!!!

C is for Creativity

Enso Circle in guache. 

Enso is a Zen Buddhist symbol of infinity, of harmony, of the perfect void.

I am a believer in the fact that everyone is blessed with creativity. Some are obvious, such as with visual artists, musicians, or writers. Others are creative in their dress or home décor, their meal planning, or in problem solving. No matter how you look at creativity, it is a treasure to express.

In teaching visual art, I have come across many people who get stuck in the mindset of “I can't” when they are trying to express a thought or feeling. Frustration can bubble up to the surface, in an adult as easily as it can a child, and cause the inner brat to literally scream out in despair. But it doesn't have to ruin their day. Through gentle encouragement and patience, one can work past the block to a place of joyous expressing again, quickly too!

I have found that the mind is a bully, a narcissistic showoff, a demanding child. Our brains can insist we pay attention to the thoughts in our heads. Our thoughts can dictate our next emotion as well. Once the thoughts are in the naysayer mode, the emotional side usually follows close by.

So when I am frustrated with an art or writing project, I find it helps to stop the gears, switch up what I am doing, and move on to something different. If I over-ride the brainwaves of frustration and re-send them on a new path, I find that 99% of the time, it frees me up enough to get back to what I was struggling with initially, even more passionately and with more ideas of how to execute my intention. Other times, I find the “new” thing incredibly satisfying and may stick with that one instead, or do both!

The Chubaca-bank was not my "usual" forte, 

but I had a blast making it when my students were sculpting...

and what's better than fun?

It is helpful to have someone by your side, encouraging you to add more ochre yellow, take some clay off the right side, or put the pen down, but not everyone has that option. We have to do this for ourselves. We have to be our own cheering section, our own mentor, our own guide. We can also ask for assistance from the collective soup, deities, or whomever we believe in. We can also meditate to access our deepest spring of inspiration, our inner Godzilla*.

Call upon whatever Muse you chose!

It is one of my callings to inspire creativity in others. To be the teacher/mentor I always wanted and needed. To help draw out in others what I see in them, the wealth of creativity and inspiration that lies within us all!

Kid-made Animal Banks... HOORAY!

If you are hesitant about drawing, because someone, 18 years ago, made a snarky comment about your art, let it go. Get the drawing pad out, and go at it. If you want to take a pottery class, but your family may laugh, don't mention it to them, but enroll. Whatever is holding you back from being creative, no matter how grand or menial- it can be a thing of the past...

But honor you exactly where you are at.

There was only one Michelangelo, one DaVinci, and

there is only one you.

*More about Godzilla soon!

B is for Be-ing

We live in such a fast-paced culture, it can be difficult to stop doing things. After all, the laundry will not wash itself, the cat will not shop for her own food and the paycheck does not come in without our showing up for work.

But aside from obligations related to survival, what do we really have to DO?

Fletcher knows

Would the planet stop spinning on it's axis if we didn't return a few phone calls? Would the sky cave in if we didn't buy new shoes before the sale was over? Would we stop being loved if we didn't show up to the “happy hour” as our friends wanted us to?

I doubt it.

So, why do we feel so utterly compelled to be involved in so many activities which separate us from our duty of Be-ing? Even a vacation is an excursion with planned relaxation itinerary. Couples have to schedule “date nights” because the spontaneity has escaped their intimate bedrooms.

DO do Do. GO go Go.

STOP!

If we tossed out the window:

our past habits, traditions, shoulds and expectations-

what would we have?

Just Be-ing.

Breathing, living, experiencing.

I pose these questions because I am a Do-er.

Even when I am sitting down, supposedly relaxing, my head is racing with thoughts about what I expect myself to be actively doing. Followed by pangs of guilt for not doing them. The cat and mouse game of shoulds and guilt are futile. They are based in a dualistic reality based on reward and punishment where we are the judges and jury. And we are always on trial.

It is Kafka-esque futile now that I think of it.

&

It is crazy-making at it's finest.

I am changing one outdated belief structure and useless re/action at a time.

I have started this blog recently in leu of my gentler experiences Be-ing.

Focusing on being present, coming back to my breath, meditating/mantras and being kind to myself [and others] are not new ideas to me, although they have not been consistently implemented in my life since I first met them many moons ago.

They were foster children until recently.

I decided to adopt them permanently.

Transitioning from a harsh to a clement reality is not “Voila!” an overnight change. It is riddled with many moments of frustrated patience, grumbling acceptance and self-forgiveness, for none of us are perfect! 

Isn't that perfect?

I could make lists of what I didn't DO today that I thought I would.

I could make a list of my accomplishments thus far, things I actually did accomplish.

But those lists only set me up for the either/or dynamic that feels icky.

Perhaps making a quick list of things I appreciate which I beam Love to would be a healthier, gentler idea.

Kitty snuggled up by my side.

Dear friends whom I adore.

Healthy foods to eat.

Great books.

Peace.

Remember- ALL you NEED to DO is Breathe and BE!

A is for Astrology

In the sphere of the heavens we are all stars!

What were the ancient peoples thinking when they looked up to the night sky? 

With no light pollution to obstruct their view of such a perfect vista,
they must have been in awe.

  I am in awe. 

I know you have seen them lately- 

all lined up in a row in the sky:

(Photo from an awesome science journal.)

Jupiter is the big guy. Venus is the tinier. Chilling out with sister Moon!

The night of the 15th of March, I received no less than 6 calls/texts telling me to go outside and look up. 

But I already was outside, looking up!

In astro terms, we call this planetary aspect a conjunction- when the planets line up close to one another, 0°-8° degrees apart.
Two weeks ago, they were aligned in exact degree, today they are about 14° apart,
yet still visible as a duo.

What conjunction means in is that the planets are strongly influencing one another. After all, the planets are merely magnets in the galaxy, attracting and repelling one another.
Conjunction is a power position! These two give one another an extra boost of energy. 

Jupiter wants us to expand, explore and improve our lives and the greater good using confident idealism and generosity.

Venus wants us to attract, appreciate and value the physical attributes of this world using beauty and Love.

And the two are in the sign of Taurus, the grounded, productive bull of patience, resources and practicality using manifestation with ease and grace.

Perhaps you were drawn to reading about Buddhist philosophy or feng shui lately, and are planing to set up an altar or rock garden in your yard. 

That would be the kind of influence these gorgeous glowing orbs could have on us.

So regardless of whether you subscribe to Astrology like I do- 
or not, 

finding beauty and meaning is always wonderful! 

I ask you to join me tonight in looking up at the heavens in appreciation of the divine map of stars and glowing planets that connect us through time, geography, and culture-

reminding us all how close to one another we truly are!